we humans

Why does life go through such drastic seasons?
Seasons.
I guess thats the answer.
Everything seems to go through a series of highs and lows. Floods and droughts. Recession and surplus.
Would life be so mundane if God spread the blessings out? Would a guaranteed constant state of contentment instead make us numb to joy? Does he like to let you get a little bored; a little sad, so you can see the beauty of his gifts?
I dont like it.
I dont like it when he blesses me all at once.
What about those sad months I spent in the last stretches of winter? I could have used some happy then too.
Maybe its my perception.
Summer really is a good season.
God likes to put people in my life during the summer. Its a trend.
So now I face the frustrating conflict of emotions.
I spend all year craving my family. Maybe its the minute size of my household that leaves me thirsty for their attention. I spend my time around them absorbing. Time is so rare. So while, thank you God for the 20 some days I get to spend in two of our country's most beloved states, with some of the most beloved people in my life, but Id have picked a different time.
Maybe those slow days in February. I could have used a hug from Amy. A rude joke from Davey.
I feel like a nagging kid. Yes thank you, but you didnt do it right. I guess thats like us.
We humans.
Now that Im finding peace in my life at home; now that Im with people who have the time to invest in me here, now you give me a vacation.
Gees.
Its my insecurities. My fear of abandonment.
I know my family will love me, but will my friends lose interest?
Are some relationships too immature to test? Are some too tired to spread out? Will I still be funny in month?
Maybe God wants me to have peace. Maybe he's asking me to assume a cool disposition to the relationships in my life; the cool disposition I exude in other areas of my life. I like to think its my personality; the classic Type B.
So thank you God.
Thank you for over blessing me in July.
He used winter and spring to weed out the people draining me. He filled me back up. He realized how much I needed them.
He doesnt deserve my criticism.